**Follow this artist Gemma Correll on Instagram. She is wonderful*
Hello Friends.
It is Monday, which is my second least favorite day of the week. My least favorite day is Tuesday because by then, I have to accept that the week is happening whether or not I want it to. It is like being halfway through a bikini wax and wanting to run away from the pain, but you are (literally) stuck. Also, it is still too far from Friday…so it basically is a crap day. However, today feels much better because you are here, and we are together…if just for a few minutes…it is nice, and I appreciate you.
Now that we have accepted our fates, let’s move on and talk a bit about that dreaded book I am writing. I want to make a couple of things clear since you are kind enough to follow along here, and that is that I am thrilled that I am writing this book, but I also want to die on the inside because I am writing this book.
I am happy to write my book because I genuinely feel it is what I am meant to do. More than anything else, this is the missing piece in my puzzling existence. I am also excited to share my brain. There is so much busyness happening in there, words floating around like the swirling keys in the first Harry Potter novel( if you don’t know this reference, then please google it so you can be part of this imagery with me). Harry has to fly on his broom into a tornado of swirling and twirling skeleton keys and find the right one to fit into the door to make it to his next challenge. Trying to put to paper the thoughts that are in my head is a lot like that. I have to jump in, grab the shiniest idea and hope for the best. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
The part of this process that I hate is the part where I feel like an imposter. Seriously…why are you reading this silly newsletter? Why do I bother? People will roll their eyes and laugh at me, and I will be a mockery. That is essentially what imposter syndrome is. There are a unique bunch of people who have been gifted with balls and ovaries of steel, who don’t care because they just decide that they are a thing, and they do it, darn it!! I have never been that person…ask my therapist. Should my billing be categorized in such a way, the majority would be 70% low self-esteem, 20% delicate fucking flower, and 10% genetic stuff- sorry, no help there!
Alas, I am choosing to have faith in myself. No one can do that for you or me. I will not wait until it is a perfect time because no such a thing exists, which is why it is so popular to say Carpe Diem! Today is all we have. So I will accept that I will always struggle with my mood. I will cozy into that bullshit and make myself at home. I will also accept that what I put out into the world may only be read by a few, but I am doing it for myself at the end of the day. For my soul and my chosen life path. Besides, how can I be an imposter when the mask fits so brilliantly?
Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter…it means so much. I hope that you are following your path authentically and bravely. I am sending love to all my Planet Maybe friends in our little solar system.
P.S. If you have ever felt like an imposter, please share in the comments below. The greatest gift of life is knowing you are not alone in your journey.
Xo
Michelle Lee Stuart